When They Don’t Believe in Themselves Yet
- afenner
- Aug 9
- 3 min read
Sometimes the biggest challenge isn’t the barrel pattern — it’s believing they belong there.
There comes a point where your kid will doubt their ability. The runs aren’t clean, the progress feels slow, and confidence gets rattled. In those moments, your belief in them matters more than their own.
Your Confidence Becomes Their Compass
When they hang their head after a run, when they say, “I can’t do this,” or “I’m not good enough,” the way you respond shapes what they’ll believe tomorrow.
We don’t just raise rodeo athletes — we raise thinkers. Feelers. Believers.
You don’t need to sugarcoat the truth. Just remind them what’s still true even after a tipped barrel.
You don’t need to coach every second. Just stand steady beside them while they learn.
Say things like:
“I saw how hard you tried.”
“You’ve improved so much, and that doesn’t disappear because of one run.”
“This is part of the process. You’re doing exactly what you should be doing right now.”
You’re not faking it. You’re teaching them how to look past a single run and see a bigger picture.
The Long Haul Mentality
Barrel racing isn’t won in a weekend. And neither is confidence.
It’s easy for a kid to get caught up in one bad run — to think that a tipped barrel or a wide first turn somehow erases all the work they’ve done. But this journey isn’t measured in single moments. It’s measured in miles, in mornings saddling up when they’d rather sleep in, and in all the little things they’re getting right that don’t always show up on the clock.
Help them understand that:
Skills compound. Every ride, every run, every haul adds to the foundation they’re building.
One run is just a data point — not a definition. A pattern doesn’t define who they are as a rider.
Even the pros miss their marks. Even world champions ride out of the arena wishing they could take that barrel back.
Celebrate the tiny gains:
The way their horse waited at the gate this time instead of rushing.
How their hands stayed quieter, more connected, more confident.
The fact that they managed their nerves — even if the run didn’t go to plan.
Progress in barrel racing often hides in the in-between moments. In how they warm up. In how they walk back to the trailer. In how they speak to themselves afterward.
They might not see the improvement — but you can. And if you keep pointing it out, gently and consistently, they’ll learn to track their progress not just by fractions of seconds shaved off a run, but by how much stronger, smarter, and steadier they’re becoming.
It’s Not About Lying — It’s About Leading
Encouragement isn’t fluff. It’s fuel. Kids don’t need a fantasy version of their abilities — they need someone who sees their effort, honors the process, and speaks to the parts of them that are still unsure.
They’re going to face poor ground, fast horses, and competition that looks intimidating. What anchors them is knowing someone in their corner still believes — not just in the win, but in the work.
Let your words reflect that:
“I’m proud of the way you stuck with it.”
“It takes grit to do what you just did.”
“You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up.”
Final Thoughts
One day, they’ll believe in themselves without needing the reminder. Until then, be the reminder.
Because behind every kid who becomes confident in the arena, there’s a steady voice outside of it saying:
“You’ve got this. Keep going. I see you becoming exactly who you’re meant to be.”
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Ann-Marie Fenner
Ranch Manager, Breeder, Rodeo Mom
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