Coaching from the Dirt: What One Barrel Run Taught Me About Raising Tough Kids
- afenner
- Jun 16
- 2 min read
Updated: Jun 17
Some if not all of our best parenting happens standing in the dirt, next to the arena with a cellphone camera in hand, and a nervous stomach.
At the last event, my daughter tipped the second barrel on what could’ve been her one of her best runs. It stung. She knew it. I knew it. The horse knew it. And for a second, I could see her disappointment.
She could quit, but she didn’t.
She finished her run, didn't let up and teach the horse that's all she had to do to stop running, and walked out of the arena like a girl who knows this life doesn’t promise perfect — just progress.
Coaching in the Moment (When It’s Hard)
As parent coaches, our instinct is to fix, correct, or protect. But I’ve learned that in the heat of the moment, our kids don’t need a lecture, they know what they did wrong — they need presence.
Here’s what I did instead:
I didn’t say anything for the first 60 seconds.
I didn’t replay the run or correct her hands or feet.
I did remind her how proud I was.
And I did wait until later to talk mechanics — when the emotion had cleared.
Because in rodeo, and in life, we don’t just raise winners — we raise hard workers. We raise kids who keep going when it gets hard.
3 Quick Coaching Tips for Rodeo Parents
Praise the process, not the prize.“You rode correct” goes farther than “Nice time.”
Let them hurt — then help them rebuild.That space between failure and feedback is sacred. Don’t rush it.
Use the arena to teach life, not just riding.Tipped barrels can be the best teachers if we’re willing to listen.
We don’t always get it right. But if we stay grounded, present, and committed to raising riders who ride with heart — we’re winning where it counts.
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— Ann-Marie Fenner
Ranch Manager, Breeder, Rodeo Mom
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